"I didn't want to come out of the game," Kendrick said. "I wasn't trying to show up Ryno or nothing. I didn't try to. That wasn't my intention. I was just upset. I wanted to get where nobody could see me as quickly as possible."
He also said he wasn't upset at teammates Chase Utley and Ryan Howard for letting a routine popup fall between them, which sparked an ugly inning in which the Phillies blew a four-run lead in a 6-5 loss.
"I didn't handle it right," Kendrick said. "That wasn't very professional of me."
Kendrick is 5-11 with a 4.90 ERA, which is the third-highest ERA out of 94 qualifying pitchers in baseball. He is a free agent after the season.
"Everything has just kind of been building up," Kendrick said. "It's been a tough year for us as a team and me personally. You've still got to keep fighting. But little stuff irritates you. ... When I'm pitching I don't really think about [free agency]. When I'm out there, I'm just focused on one pitch at a time. When I'm out there, no. It's definitely not on my mind. Maybe in between starts I think about it because -- shoot, I'm human. I have a family to provide for. I have two kids. So I think, where am I going to be? All that stuff."
Asked if he thinks he will be back with the Phillies, Kendrick said, "I don't know. I want to go where whoever wants me. That's where I want to go. If it's here, great. If they want me. You want to go somewhere where you're wanted. We'll see. I don't know."
Todd Zolecki is a reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs.